Testimonial #4 - Safe Spaces

When I came out the first time, I came out as bisexual. When I said the words aloud, “I think I’m bisexual”, I was sitting in a room full of other queer girls as we shared our identities and our pasts. It was part of a collective group healing; a support group I had never been able to experience prior to coming to ASU. These girls and I continued to meet about once a week the spring of my freshman year, bonded through our English classes and our hatred of the one teacher that made our lives hell. There were five of us, each with a different identity, each different from the others in a special way. And even though there were two straight girls there, we all wanted to call ourselves queers.

I lost touch with them after the summer; “Elle” and “Bridget” went home to their different states and couldn’t come back. This was when facebook was just starting to be popular, so I wasn’t on it that often. I also didn’t have a cell phone, so email was the only way for a long time we could communicate. After a few weeks of that, though, we all sort of stopped replying. “Kelly” and “Morgan” are still here at ASU, but other than our English classes and our weekly coffee dates that spring, I rarely if ever see them anymore.

I mention this because ASU was never wrong to me. ASU has always been good to me. I know that for a lot of people, ASU continues to be a place of dismay, bad food and Arizonan budget cuts. I am lucky; I have been able to receive scholarships for the past five years. I’ve switched my major three times, and each time I feel a renewed love for ASU and everything that comes with it. I’m one of those girls that goes to pep rallies, football games, parties.

But, I’m an oddity. I identify as bisexual. I have for a really long time. That group of girls my freshman year allowed me to understand and accept this reality. Before I came here, I couldn’t quite cope with it. Raised in a strictly Catholic household, I truly felt like an outsider, for a lot of different reasons. My sexual orientation was just one part of the puzzle. My group of girls and I and our weekly coffee dates kept me sane my spring semester of that year. It leveraged me to a place where I felt comfortable opening up, where I felt comfortable meeting people.

I don’t participate in much LGBTQ stuff here. I’ve gone to other clubs and organizations that suite my major; I do a ton of community service and work part-time. I am always hesitant to mention LGBTQ groups here. I have never truly felt welcomed as a bisexual at an event there. Most of my support comes from other people and clubs, surprisingly, that aren’t LGBTQ-centered. That’s not to say I think the LGBTQ clubs/orgs here aren’t spectacular. They are.

So why did I write this piece? Because I want people to know that ASU CAN be accepting. It CAN be a safe space. I had to make it one myself. I know it’s not my duty as an oppressed person; the oppressor always has the power in these situation. I am just lucky that my experience has been positive. I hope yours will too.